Why Isn’t This Over Now

Why isn’t this over now?
Need fifteen more years
To sulk and to pout?
Just let it all go,
stop reliving the past
And it would all be over now.

Why isn’t this over now?
How long will you punish
Everyone around?
Forgive and forget
And stop dragging it out
And it would be over now.

I’m not holding on;
it is holding on to me.
It’s not more forgiveness
but healing I need.
My heart is destroyed
But continues to beat
It longs to be whole and free.

Why isn’t this over now?
Because it gains strength
When it comes back around
It’s like we learned nothing
But how to tune out
So it can’t be over now.

I’m not holding on;
it is holding on to me.
It’s not more forgiveness
but healing I need.
My heart is destroyed
But continues to beat
It longs to be the whole and free.

I’d like to stop hurting
(Stop the hurting)
I’d like to start living
I’d rather be growing
(Start the building)
I’d rather be building
The life that we’re wanting
(We can make it)
Is here if we make it
Let’s stir up the courage
(If we face it)
We need to be facing the darkness

Why isn’t this over now?
If I knew the answer
I’d say it out loud.
But I won’t give up
Till we figure it out
So it can be over now.

I Have a Story

Words & Music by Todd Porter

(c) 2022 Todd Porter  All rights reserved.

click here to listen to a recording hosted on SoundCloud

I have a story

That everyone I befriend

Goes away in the end

Hurting and sorry.

I have a story

That knowing me has to lead

To lots of heartache and grief

For anyone in my reach.

And though I know that this story’s not real

Knowing won’t keep me from feeling

That I’m stuck in a tale in which

I am the villain

I’m grasping for hope of

Escaping this prison

The more that I try

The harder it is to see…

That I have a story

Where all the things I believe,

Impractical and naive,

Are leaving me empty.

I have a story

Where trying to meet my own needs

ruins most everything

And still leaves me wanting

And though I know that this story’s not real

Knowing won’t keep me from feeling

  

That I’m stuck in a tale in which

I am the villain

I’m grasping for hope of

Escaping this prison

The more that I try

The harder it is to see…

If making it better’s just making it worse?

If moving things forward gets stuck in reverse?

If asking for help is just making me helpless?

If longing to live is just selfish and reckless?

I’m stuck in a tale in which

I am the villain

I’m grasping for hope of

Escaping this prison

The more that I try

The harder it is to see…

I have a story

Where everyone is alive

And with joy we all thrive

Sharing and loving

I have a story

Where we give and receive

And we have all we need

To overflowing

Deep down I that know this story is real

It’s ours for the living if only we heal

We can live in a tale 

Where there is no villain

Where sharing our Hope

Leads to everyone living

We’ll find enough love for

All of our hearts to see

That the story we live 

is the story we tell

Is the story we live

Is the story we tell…