There is a cause-and-effect relationship between the stories we tell ourselves and our our experience of reality (the stories we live). We create stories to explain our experience, often based only on our own observations and reactions. These stories, once in place, influence what we subsequently observe, filtering new data through the lens of the story. Leading to what we call “confirmation bias.” This is a strategy for meaning-making that we humans use all the time. It’s a strategy that serves us so well that we often forget we’re doing it. That’s when the trouble starts.  Mindlessly accepting the first story we tell (which is often the most damaging, frightful version we can imagine) leads us to live out that story. If I tell myself a story about how my ideas are always rejected, I begin to see every critique or resistance as rejection.  I’ll anticipate that rejection and begin avoiding sharing new ideas because I expect them to be rejected, and thus produce the same result regardless of what’s actually happening. I’ll reject them myself before somebody else does and, in doing so, create the reality in which my ideas don’t matter to me or to anyone else.  That’s what I mean when I say, “the stories we tell are the stories we live.” What stories are you telling? What stories are you living? What story do you _want_ to be living? What story could you be telling that might lead you there? [image description: a dark blue square with light blue arrows forming a circle. In the top right is the text, “the story we tell”, and in the bottom left is the text, “the story we live”. In the center of the circle is the t question, “will you choose a virtuous cycle or a vicious one?”]
There is a cause-and-effect relationship between the stories we tell ourselves and our experience of reality (the stories we live). We create stories to explain our experience, often based only on our own observations and reactions. These stories, once in place, influence what we subsequently observe, filtering new data through the lens of the story. Leading to what we call “confirmation bias.”

This is a strategy for meaning-making that we humans use all the time. It’s a strategy that serves us so well that we often forget we’re doing it. That’s when the trouble starts. 

Mindlessly accepting the first story we tell (which is often the most damaging, frightful version we can imagine) leads us to live out that story. If I tell myself a story about how my ideas are always rejected, I begin to see every critique or resistance as rejection. 

I’ll anticipate that rejection and begin avoiding sharing new ideas because I expect them to be rejected, and thus produce the same result regardless of what’s actually happening. I’ll reject them myself before somebody else does and, in doing so, create the reality in which my ideas don’t matter to me or to anyone else. 

That’s what I mean when I say, “the stories we tell are the stories we live.” What stories are you telling? What stories are you living? What story do you _want_ to be living? What story could you be telling that might lead you there?

[image description: a dark blue square with light blue arrows forming a circle. In the top right is the text, “the story we tell”, and in the bottom left is the text, “the story we live”. In the center of the circle is the t question, “will you choose a virtuous cycle or a vicious one?”]

We did a “get to know you” activity at church a while back (2005??) where several people assembled a “soundtrack of my life” CD (used to be a thing…. keep your old-people jokes to yourself.). Think of it as an autobiographical mix-tape (yeah, that’s right, I’ve made those, too). That sounded like a fun thing to do, but every time I tried to put one together, I came up blank. 

What follows is a combination of songs that are meaningful to me in some way. Some have stories associated with them. Others represent periods of my life and were actually playing on the radio during some season. Yet others have words that speak to some deep place in me, make sense of an experience, describe a reality, express some emotion. 

Back when everyone else was doing this, we were limited by the number of songs that would fit on a CD-ROM. That’s not a constraint these days, so this list is a bit bloated. It looks like it’s up to almost 4 hours long. The liner notes were a crucial part of the exercise, but I think I’ll just add them a little at a time.

And now, from the “better late than never” department, here’s Todd’s infinite playlist:

Windmills of Your Mind (Remastered Album Version)

Noel Harrison
Alan Bergman, Marilyn Bergman & Michel Jean Legrand
Life Is A Dream

This was my first favorite song.  I first heard it on the Oklahoma City “easy listening” radio station and once called them to request it.  They had a hard time with that because a) there weren’t may pre-teen boys calling them to request songs, and b) they didn’t actually have DJs selecting the music, just a program director who apparently wasn’t interested in listener requests.
Alan and Marilyn Bergman’s lyric for the “Theme from The Thomas Crown Affair” (A. Bergman, M. Bergman, & Legrand, 1968) starts like this:
     “Round, like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel,
             Never ending or beginning on an ever-spinning reel,”
The song goes on with metaphors of snowballs, carousels, clocks, planets, tunnels, caverns, doors, ripples, and more, all on the way to saying something about the memory of lost love.  By the time the song finally gets to its point, the listener is so lost in the spinning litany of metaphors that the point comes and goes without being noticed.  That is also the genius of the song, because that feeling of “lostness” is exactly its point.
When I heard it as a child, I didn’t understand it, I just liked the insistence of the melody and the way everything in it spins.  Reflecting on it now with more than thirty years passed since my first hearing of it, I realize that part of the appeal of this song is that it reflects my thought process, with its many nested spinning metaphors and confuse me and anyone else who makes the unfortunate mistake of asking, “what are you thinking about?”.

   

Up, Up and Away (Remastered 1997)

The 5th Dimension
Jim Webb
The Ultimate 5th Dimension

I remember hearing this song on the radio in Seminole, Oklahoma. It sounded adventurous. As I listen to it now, it sounds happy and reminds me of my earliest years.

 

Sing

Carpenters
Joe Raposo
Gold: Greatest Hits

Karen Carpenter’s voice might be my favorite in all of pop music. This is another one that I remember hearing on the radio as a child. I’ve always enjoyed singing, so I guess it makes sense that this encouragement to do so would stick with me. Though I’m not sure I’m completely behind, “sing of good things, not bad; sing of happy, not sad”. That doesn’t satisfy my need for authenticity, but it loud, strong, simple, lifelong … love all of that. And her voice!

Time In A Bottle

Jim Croce
Jim Croce Compilation

I first heard this song on The Muppet Show, so that’s the version I’ll link here. This song captures that sense of longing for connection that has followed me as long as I can remember. It wawsn’t until years after the muppet show encounter that I realized this was an actual, popular song. I’m glad to have finally met “… the one I want to go through time with” when I met Krista in high school. 

 

High Hill

David Wilcox
Jaimé Morton
Nightshift Watchman

Our family lived in Snyder, Oklahoma when I was in middle school and junior high. The town’s water tower sat atop a pile of granite a few block from our house and you can see it in the top third of the frame in this video from 0:45 to 0:58:

When I hear this David Wilcox song, High Hill, I tell myself the hill he’s singing about and the small town it rises above are more picturesque than this little town of 3,000-ish people surrounded by wheat fields in Southwest Oklahoma. But, the top of this hill with the water tower was one of my favorite places to think and watch the sunset. That’s why this David Wilcox song is on this list: because it reminds me of this high (by Oklahoma standards) hill.

 

Every Breath You Take

The Police
Gordon M. Sumner
Every Breath You Take: The Classics

I know, I know… it’s a creeper song. But it perfectly suited my perpetually-unrequited-love 13-year-old self in 1983. It perfectly captured my melancholy and longing. It was also the beginning of me identifying more with pop/rock/top-40 music than easy listening, opening up my ear to all sorts of new things, including other songs by The Police.

It’s a little harder to enjoy these days, having learned more about the very real threats of stalking and domestic violence. It does do it’s job as a time-machine, though, whisking me back to 1983.

A Million Dreams

Ziv Zaifman, Hugh Jackman & Michelle Williams
Benj Pasek & Justin Paul
The Greatest Showman (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)


Going To Another Place

Mannheim Steamroller
Chip Davis
FreshAire II


Hold It up to the Light

David Wilcox
Big Horizon


Stick to the Status Quo

The Cast of High School Musical

D. Lawrence & Charles F. Greenberg

High School Musical (An Original Walt Disney Soundtrack)


The Logical Song

Supertramp

Roger Hodgson & Rick Davies

Breakfast in America (Deluxe Edition)


Shadows In The Rain

Sting

Sting

The Dream Of The Blue Turtles


Calling Out Your Name

Rich Mullins

Rich Mullins

Songs


Spirits In The Material World

The Police

Gordon M. Sumner

Every Breath You Take: The Classics


Spirit Wind

David Wilcox

David Wilcox

Underneath


Alabaster Jar

Gateway Worship


The First 10 Years Collection


Native Tongue

David Wilcox

David Wilcox

Into The Mystery


You’ve Got a Friend

James Taylor

Carole King

Greatest Hits, Vol. 1


Secret Church

David Wilcox

David Wilcox

Turning Point


The Way I Am

Ingrid Michaelson

Ingrid Michaelson

Girls And Boys


Hard Part

David Wilcox

David Wilcox/John K. Whalen

Vista


We’re All In This Together

The Cast of High School Musical

M. Gerrard & R. Nevil

High School Musical (An Original Walt Disney Soundtrack)


Break In The Cup

David Wilcox

Dave Wilcox

Big Horizon


That’s What The Lonely Is For

David Wilcox

Dave Wilcox

Big Horizon


Phenomenon

Rita Springer

Rita Springer

All I Have


Be

Josh Byrd


Beautiful – DS


Dream

Priscilla Ahn

Priscilla Ahn

A Good Day


Breakable

Ingrid Michaelson

Ingrid Michaelson

Girls And Boys


Chandelier

Sia

Sia Furler & Jesse Shatkin

1000 Forms of Fear (Deluxe Version)


Impact…

David Wilcox

David Wilcox

Live Songs & Stories


Eye Of The Hurricane

David Wilcox

David Wilcox/Eddie Macdonald/Mike Peters

Live Songs & Stories


Silent Prayer

David Wilcox

David Wilcox

Turning Point


Often A Bird

Wim Mertens

Wim Mertens

Platinum Collection [Disc 2]


Great I Am

New Life Worship

Jared Anderson

You Hold It All (Deluxe Version)


Out Of The Question

David Wilcox

David Wilcox

Into The Mystery


Invisible Sun

The Police

Gordon M. Sumner

Every Breath You Take: The Classics

Just Keep Swimming

Marlin, Dory, Moonfish

Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Bobby Lopez

Finding Nemo – The Musical


Let It Go

Idina Menzel


Frozen (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)


Faithful God (Extended Version)

Zach Neese


God and King


This Is Not the End

Gungor


Ghosts Upon the Earth (Deluxe Edition)


Out Beyond Ideas

David Wilcox & Nance Pettit

Jalaludin Rumi

Out Beyond Ideas – Songs For Peace Project


Holy Now

Peter Mayer

Peter Mayer

Million Year Mind


10 Beyond Belief

David Wilcox


Open Hand


Message In A Bottle

The Police

Gordon M. Sumner

Every Breath You Take: The Classics


Thanks for Listening

Chris Thile

Chris Thile & Thomas Bartlett

Thanks for Listening


All I Know So Far

P!nk

Alecia Moore, Benj Pasek & Justin Paul

All I Know So Far: Setlist


The Inside Of My Head

David Wilcox

Unknown

What You Whispered


Breaking Free

Troy & Gabriella Montez

J. Houston

High School Musical (An Original Walt Disney Soundtrack)


This Is Me

Keala Settle & The Greatest Showman Ensemble

Benj Pasek & Justin Paul

The Greatest Showman (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)


From Now On

Hugh Jackman & The Greatest Showman Ensemble

Benj Pasek & Justin Paul

The Greatest Showman (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)


Down Here

David Wilcox

David Wilcox

Underneath


Down In the Hole

James Taylor

James Taylor

New Moon Shine


American Reckoning

Bon Jovi

Jon Bon Jovi

2020


Is Anybody Listening

Zach Neese


God and King


The Next Right Thing

Kristen Bell

Robert Lopez & Kristen Anderson-Lopez

Frozen 2 (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)


01 Dream Again

David Wilcox


Open Hand

We Make the Way By Walking

David Wilcox

David Wilcox

The View From the Edge


How Far I’ll Go

Auli’i Cravalho

Lin-Manuel Miranda

Moana (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition]

When Jesus[a] saw the crowds, he went up the
mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. Then
he began to speak, and taught them, saying:

 

 

The wide gate

The narrow gate

5:3
 
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:4
 
“Blessed are those who
mourn, for they will be comforted.
5:5
 
“Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
5:6
 
“Blessed are those who
hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
5:7
 
“Blessed are the
merciful, for they will receive mercy.
5:8
 
“Blessed are the pure in
heart, for they will see God.
5:9
 
“Blessed are the
peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
5:10
 
10 “Blessed are those who
are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11-12
 
11 “Blessed are you when
people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you
falsely[b] on my account. 12 Rejoice
and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they
persecuted the prophets who were before you.
 
5:13
but if salt has lost its taste,
how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is
thrown out and trampled under foot.
13 “You are the salt of the
earth;
 
15 No one after lighting a
lamp puts it under the bushel basket,…
14 “You are the light of
the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. … but on the lampstand,
and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the
same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good
works and give glory to your Father in heaven.
 
5:17-19
17 “Do not think that I
have come to abolish the law or the prophets;…
19 Therefore, whoever breaks[d]one of the least of these
commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the
kingdom of heaven;
… I have come not to abolish but
to fulfill. 18 For truly I tell you, until heaven
and earth pass away, not one letter,[c] not one stroke of a letter,
will pass from the law until all is accomplished. … but whoever does
them [these commandments] and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom
of heaven. 
5:20
20 For I tell you, unless
your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never
enter the kingdom of heaven.
 
5:21-24
21 “You have heard that it
was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever
murders shall be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I
say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister,[e] you will be liable to judgment;
and if you insult[f] a brother or sister,[g] you will be liable to the
council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell[h] of fire. 
23 So when you are offering
your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister[i] has something against
you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar
and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister,[j] and then come and offer your
gift
5:25-26
…or your accuser may hand you
over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into
prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will never get
out until you have paid the last penny.
25 Come
to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court[k] with him,
5:27-28
27 “You have heard that it
was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.”
28 But I say to you that
everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with
her in his heart. 
 
5:29-30
 
29 If your right eye causes
you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one
of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.[l]30 And
if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is
better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go
into hell.[m]
5:31-32
31 “It was also said,
‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 
32 But I say to you that
anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her
to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
 
5:33-37
33 “Again, you have heard
that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but
carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.’ 
34 But I say to you, Do not
swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 or
by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of
the great King. 36 And do not swear by your head,
for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 Let
your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the
evil one.[n]
 
5:38-42
38 “You have heard that it
was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 
39 But I say to you, Do not
resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the
other also; 40 and if anyone wants to sue you and
take your coat, give your cloak as well; 41 and
if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. 42 Give
to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow
from you.
5:43-45
43 “You have heard that it
was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ …

44 But I say to you, Love
your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so
that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise
on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the
unrighteous. 
5:46-48
46 For if you love those
who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the
same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers and
sisters,[o] what more are you doing than
others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 
48 Be perfect, therefore,
as your heavenly Father is perfect.
 
6:1-4
“Beware of practicing your piety before others
in
order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in
heaven.
“So whenever you give alms, do not
sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the
streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have
received their reward. 
But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know
what your
right hand is doing, 
so that your alms may be done in secret;
and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23287a”
data-link=”[a]”
>[a]
 
6:5-6
“And whenever you pray, do not be
like the
hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the
street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they
have received their reward.
But whenever you pray, go into your room
and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father
who sees in secret will reward you.<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23289b”
data-link=”[b]”
>[b]
 
6:7-13
“When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as
the
Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many
words. 
Do not be like them, for your Father knows
what you need before you ask him.
 
“Pray then in this way:
Our Father in
heaven,

hallowed be your
name.

10     Your
kingdom come.

Your will be done,
on earth as it is in
heaven.

11     Give
us this day our daily bread.<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23294c”
data-link=”[c]”
>[c]
12     And
forgive us our debts,
as we also have
forgiven our debtors.

13     And
do not bring us to the time of trial,<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23296d”
data-link=”[d]”
>[d]
but rescue us from
the evil one.<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23296e”
data-link=”[e]”
>[e]
 
6:14-15
15 but if you do not forgive others, neither will your
Father forgive your trespasses.
 
14 For if you forgive others their
trespasses, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you; 
6:16-18
16 “And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the
hypocrites,
for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting.
Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 
17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your
face, 
18 so
that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in
secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23301f”
data-link=”[f]”
>[f]
 
6:19-21
19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,
where moth
and rust<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23302g”
data-link=”[g]”
>[g] consume
and where thieves break in and steal; 
20 but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where
neither
moth nor rust<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23303h”
data-link=”[h]”
>[h]consumes and
where thieves do not break in and steal. 
21 For
where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
 
6:22-23
23 but if your eye is unhealthy, your whole body will be
full of
darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!
 
22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is
healthy,
your whole body will be full of light; 
6:24
24 “No one can serve two masters; for a
slave will
either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise
the other.
You cannot serve God and wealth.<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23307i”
data-link=”[i]”
>[i]
 
6:25
 
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life,
what you
will eat or what you will drink,<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23308j”
data-link=”[j]”
>[j] or about
your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more
than clothing? 
6:26-27
 
26 Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor
reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not
of more value than they? 
27 And can any of you by worrying add a
single hour to your span of life?<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23310k”
data-link=”[k]”
>[k
6:28-30
 
28 And why do you worry about clothing?
Consider the
lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, 
29 yet I
tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. 30 But
if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow
is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little
faith? 
6:31-33
31 Therefore do not worry, saying,
‘What will we eat?’
or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ 
32 For
it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things;
and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you
need
all these things. 
33 But strive first for the kingdom of God<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23316l”
data-link=”[l]”
>[l] and his<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23316m”
data-link=”[m]”
>[m]righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well.
6:34
34 “So do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will
bring worries of its own.
Today’s trouble is enough for today.
7:1-2
“Do not judge, so that you may not be
judged. 
For with the judgment you make you
will be judged,
and the measure you give will be the measure you get. 
7:3-5
Why do you see the speck in your
neighbor’s<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23320a”
data-link=”[a]”
>[a]eye, but do
not notice the log in your own eye? 
Or how can you say to your neighbor,<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23321b”
data-link=”[b]”
>[b] ‘Let me
take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye? You
hypocrite,
first take the log out of your own eye, and
then you
will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23322c”
data-link=”[c]”
>[c]eye.
7:6
“Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your
pearls
before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you.
 
7:7-8
 
“Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will
find;
knock, and the door will be opened for you. 
For
everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone
who knocks, the door will be opened. 
7:9-11
Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for
bread,
will give a stone? 
10 Or if the child asks for a fish, will give
a snake? 
11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts
to your
children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those
who ask him!
7:12
 
12 “In everything do to others as you would have them do
to you;
for this is the law and the prophets.
7:13-14
13 “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide
and the
road is easy<sup
style=”box-sizing: border-box;”
data-fn=”#fen-NRSV-23330d”
data-link=”[d]”
>[d] that
leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. 
14 For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads
to life,
and there are few who find it.
7:15-18
15 “Beware of false prophets, who come
to you in
sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 
16 You
will know them by their fruits.
Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from
thistles? 
17 In the same way, every good tree bears
good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A
good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 
7:19-20
19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down
and thrown
into the fire. 
20 Thus you will know them by their fruits.
7:21
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord,
Lord,’ will
enter the kingdom of heaven,
but only the one who does the will of my Father in
heaven. 
7:22-23
22 On that day many will say to me,
‘Lord, Lord, did we
not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many
deeds of power in your name?’ 
23 Then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew
you; go away from me, you evildoers.’
 
7:24-27
26 And everyone who hears these words
of mine and does
not act on them will be like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 
27 The
rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that
house, and it fell—and great was its fall!”
24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts
on them
will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. 
25 The
rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it
did not fall, because it had been founded on rock. 
 
28 Now when Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were
astounded at his teaching, 
29 for he taught them as one having authority,
and not as their scribes.
 
 
Old Bailey and Lady Justice

Old Bailey and Lady Justice


I received a summons from Tarrant County last month to appear for jury duty.  Last Friday was the time appointed for my appearance.  I was juror number 48 of 60 called for a trial for which 12 of us would be selected.  So the likelihood of me serving was actually pretty slim.  Mostly it just ate up a Friday afternoon and the following Monday afternoon while that reality worked itself out.

One thing I realized through the experience is that our society demands very little of its citizens.  I couldn’t think of any other civic duty which is required of all citizens.  I suppose paying taxes could be viewed as a civic duty, but it is mostly a passive activity since the payments normally take place through payroll deductions.

So death and taxes aside, is there anything else we require of one another as US citizens?  Krista pointed out that we were required to go to school as children, but that seems less like a civic duty than a benefit.  We receive an education from our participation in school, so while it requires our time, effort, and attendance, the activity is ultimately to our benefit.  The benefit to society from this activity is clear, but no action is actually required.

We’re not required to vote.  We’re not required to serve in any kind of public service.  We’re not required to serve in any kind of public office.  We’re not required to serve in the military.  So all I have to do is pay my taxes and show up for jury duty and it’s all good.

Only it’s not all good.  When I hear the lofty description of our government “of, by and for the people,” It seems as though it should require more of us than paying taxes and showing up for jury duty.  With this as my background for the week, Gavin Newsom‘s new book Citizenville caught my attention as the beginning of a conversation to engage people with governing through technology.  I’m feeling hopeful about the possibilities.

In Matthew 13:44-45 Jesus is trying to explain the nature of his Kingdom to his followers.  He says:

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.” 

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.”

I’ve always thought that the point of this passage was that we were the ones who found the treasure or the fine pearl and that Jesus was making the point that finding that treasure beyond all others was worth sacrificing everything to have.  I’m sure I’ve heard sermons and Sunday school lessons to that effect.  It’s certainly the perspective taken by most of the commentaries I had handy.

But what if we’ve misaligned these analogies?  What if participation in the kingdom of heaven isn’t so much about giving up everything to get in on it (since when was God’s acceptance of us contingent on our resources anyway?), but instead about everything Jesus gave up to get us in?

You are the treasure.
You are the one pearl of great value.
Jesus is the one who sold everything he had to bring you into his Kingdom.
What changes for you if those things are true?

A few Sundays back, John McKellar was exploring that teaching from Jesus we’ve come to call “the parable of the sower.”  It’s in Matthew 18:1-8, with a followup explanation (because it’s not a good parable if it doesn’t confuse most everyone hearing it) in v 18-23.  In the parable, Jesus identifies four kinds of soil, one of which is hospitable to plants and three of which prevent thriving growth.

Dr. McKellar pointed out that it’s our tendency to try to sort everyone into one category or another, but the reality is that, at any given moment,  we humans have hearts that can be described all four ways at the same time.  At any given moment, we all have parts of our hearts that:

  • we’ve hardened against God’s message of love for us and our kind
  • we’ve filled with rocks that keep anything from taking root, so we give up as soon as the going gets tough.
  • we’ve mixed thorny weeds in with the fruit, so the good stuff gets the life choked out of it, while the prickly thorns remain to hurt us and the people we love.
  • we’ve tended well, so the remain soft and receptive to the things God would plant there to bring life and health for ourselves and our neighbors.  
As if that didn’t complicate things enough, God’s also entrusted us to plant these seeds of his message to humanity.  So here we are, thorny, good, rocky, hard people, trying to share God’s hope, peace, and love in other hard, rocky, thorny, good people.  No wonder it’s so difficult to follow Jesus! 
Anyway, I found that whole idea so interesting that I was convinced there had to be a song in it somehwere, so I went looking for it. The song below is what I found.  You can find a recording of it on MediaFire here or from my MySpace profile.

The Farmer is the Field
Verse 1
  How many people have to walk this way
  to make the ground this hard?
  How many times, the same old wound
  That made this concrete of my heart?
  Hard li—-ving
     
   Living with a ha——-rd heart
                      Living like I’m hardly
living.
Verse 2
  The broken place along
the edge,
  webbed with cracks and caked with dirt,
  the sort of home where hope can sprout
  But withers through the
bitter hurt.
 Dry li—-ving
         Living with a dry heart
                     
Living like I’m hardly living.
Verse 3
Around the borders of
the field
grow thorns and fruitful vines.
but all the fruit of love and peace
is choked by greed on every side.
Choked li—-ving
         Living with a strangled heart
                     
Feeling like I’m barely breathing.
Bridge 1
  This is the gift I’ve
brought my King: 
  this walking box of
dirt. 
  It’s hard and rocky, thorned and good, 
  it’s ransom put you in
the earth.
Verse 4
  Through it all, I still
believe.
  Lord, help my unbelief.
  Expand the fertile, open land
  so it will nurture every seed.
  Whole li—-ving
     
    Living with a whole heart.
     
               It’s your Life I’m living.
Bridge 2
  This is the gift I bring
my King:
  a heart that’s fully yours.
  Transform these stones
and rocks and weeds
  Until they’re fit for something
good.

My friend Melanie recently shared this TED talk from Pamela Meyer about lying:

Pamela Meyer: How to spot a liar | Video on TED.com

One of the things that really captured my attention was when she said:

“Lying is a cooperative act.  Think about it:  a lie has no power whatsoever by its mere utterance.  Its power emerges when someone else agrees to believe the lie.  So I know it sounds like tough love, but look, if at some point you got lied to, it’s because you agreed to get lied to.”

It gets really interesting when you take that idea and place it next to Jesus’ description of Satan in John 8:44.  Jesus is having one of those recurring arguments with his kinsmen, who are vigorously missing the point (as we humans are wont to do).  He says:

“You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44 NASB)”

I am constantly pressured to believe lies about myself, about the people around me, and about God.  These lies are from hell and are intended to destroy my relationships and ultimately to destroy me.  But they only have power when I cooperate with Satan (!why would I do that?!) by agreeing to believe them.

We planned a trip to Walt Disney World with some friends back in 2007.  In total it was 8 adults and 10 kids (with me and Krista in the “adult” category).  I shared the list below in an e-mail to the group before that trip, but at least once a year since then I have occasion to share it with someone else.  I’m posting it here to save the annual excavation of my e-mail archives to try to find it next time.

So most of you have heard from Krista about her favorite WDW things, but I thought I’d share my version.  For the most part, my favorite things are environments and experiences, but there are a few attractions as well.
  1. Illuminations: Reflections of Earth @ EPCOT.  Illuminations
    This is one of the most amazing works of art that I have ever seen.  It tells the story of the creation of the earth and the history of human civilization using music, fireworks, a flaming gas barge, and a globe with the continents made from some kind of video screens.  Every time I see it I’m taken aback by the beauty of it.  Like all works of art, it works for some people and not others, so you might see it and think, “ho hum.”  As for me, I’m trying to figure out how to sneak off to EPCOT every night we’re there to see it.
  2. MGM at night.
    IMG_0727 I love the architecture of Disney/MGM Studios and I love the film score music that’s playing everywhere.  I especially love the combination of architecture and night lighting, so one of my favorite things to do is just hang around after dark and look and listen.
  3. Walt Disney: One Man’s Dream @ MGM.
     omdThis is a little museum and short film tucked back behind The Great Movie Ride.  I have watched the film once each of my last few trips and always come away inspired.  It is a documentary-style assembly of film, images, and sound clips about Walt Disney’s career, most of which are recordings of Walt himself.  One of the things he talks about is the idea that was “plaguing his brain” that there ought to be some kind of place where parents and kids could have fun together.  That brain-plaguing idea was the genesis of Disneyland and ultimately Walt Disney World.  The thing that inspires me about that is how an idea that this one guy couldn’t stop thinking about turned into something that touches the lives of thousands of people every day with beauty and fun.  I’d like  to have an idea like that and have the dedication to make it happen.  Another thing he says is something like, “it’s important to have a good, hard crash [failure] when you’re young.”  I try to remember that to remind myself about the benefits, and ultimate inevitability, of failing and how it is the seed of growth and improvement.  Walt’s willingness to risk everything to accomplish his goal, even with the likelihood of failure, inspires me as well.  Younger kids might be bored, but I’ll make sure I see this at least once on this trip.
  4. Disney’s Wilderness Lodge.
     P5200160I doubt any of you (or I) will have time for this, but on many of our trips, I’ve set aside half a day to take a book and go sit in one of the 2nd or 3rd floor atrium reading areas in the Wilderness Lodge hotel lobby.  Something about all the logs and the music (Aaron Copeland and others) makes me feel content, at home, and happy.  I probably won’t make it over there this time (I don’t think I made it last time either), but it’s still one of my favorite things to do.
  5. Spaceship Earth @ EPCOT.
    spe Like Illuminations, this attraction is a tour of human history.  In the case of Spaceship Earth, it is the history of communication.  It’s fascinating the way technology has evolved to meet our intrinsic need to not be alone in the world.  The narrator toward the end poses a great question about whether all the technologically-facilitated communication to which we now have access will be nothing more than a “flood of electronic babel,” or if it might become something more than that.  One of the amazing things this ride reminds me of is how we, as a race, continue to abate our isolation by trying to communicate and persist in that attempt because even the difficulty of trying to do it is better than being alone.  There’s also the added fun of wagering where, in the ride, you might get stopped on any particular experience of it.  Seems like I usually get stopped where the monks are copying the bible by hand.
  6. TomorrowLand Transit Authority @ Magic Kingdom.
     This is a great chill-out ride during the day, but like MGM, TomorrowLand is even better at night because of the lighting design.  A tour on the TTA after dark gives you a great view of TomorrowLand and other parts of the Magic Kingdom too.  There are lots of great quotes on the “PA” system as well (“…your party from Saturn has arrived.  Please give them a ring.” makes me laugh every time.).
  7. Carousel of Progress @ Magic Kingdom.  You’ll probably see this and, as Krista described, think, “That’s cheesy.”  Then, later when you’re standing in line for one of those ice cream bars, that little song will start rolling around in the back of your mind and you’ll start to wonder if it might be true …   “there’s a great, big, beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day…”  and it might be.
  8. Soarin’ Over California @ EPCOT.  We’ll have to figure out some kind of FastPASS schedule for riding this, but it is definitely worth the trouble.  It is an EyeMax-type screen with a three-story seating arrangement that simulates riding in a hang-glider over some of the most beautiful parts of California, complete with smells.
  9. The Lion King Show @ Animal Kingdom.  Songs and pieces of the Lion King story.  It’s a good show.  Something about “Do You Feel the Love Tonight” affects me differently in this show than in the movie.  I like it.
  10. Finding Nemo – The Musical @ Animal Kingdom / the Finding Nemo Ride @ EPCOT.  Basically, I just like the Finding Nemo story.  It inspires me to be more persistent and to persevere.  “…The Musical,” in particular adds some songs about that component of the story.  “Just keep swimming…”  On the EPCOT ride, there’s a bubble section to simulate the EAC (is that what that’s called?) that is really disorienting (in a fun way).  I like the bubbles.

All right…well 10 is about the right number of things for a list like this, so I’ll stop there and see some of you at the airport in the morning and the rest of you in Florida.

I don’t remember exactly when I learned Psalm 23. Maybe around age 7? It may very well be the most popular and best known of the Psalms, as it’s pastoral peace is often used to comfort mourners, both real and dramatized. What has caught my attention of late, though, is not the “valley of the shadow of death” part, but rather the “I shall not want” part.

Last week I participated in a training program built around Peter Block’s book Flawless Consulting. Early in the book, Block describes two processes that are central to flawless consulting, the first of which is “being as authentic as you can be at all times with the client” (xxiii). Later, he elaborates on this by saying, “Authentic behavior with a client means you put into words what you are experiencing with the client as you work”(37). It is pretty obvious that any consulting project should entail identifying what the client wants out of the process, but part of the authentic behavior that Block describes is for the consultant to express their wants as well.

As participants, we each had to pick a current consulting project example to use throughout the training session and one of the exercises was for us to make a list of our wants from the client, express those wants aloud recorded with a web-cam, and then watch the recording. This was a uniformly uncomfortable experience for everyone in class. All of us found the idea of expressing any kind of requirement to a client difficult in concept and awkward in practice.

Throughout the course, I found myself wondering why expressing my own wants, which, in the consulting example, were necessary for the success of the project, was so difficult. Somewhere in the contemplation, the phrase from the beginning of Psalm 23 popped into my head: “… I shall not want.” (New American Standard Bible). I realized that over the course of my life I had internalized a destructive distortion of this passage. It went in as “I shall not want” and came out as “Thou shalt not want.”

That’s not what the passage says in the New American Standard Bible and, when I looked the Hebrew word used there up in Strong’s concordance, I learned that the word for “want” means “lack, fail, be lessened, be abated, be bereaved, decrease, be made lower (s.v. 2637). The New International Version makes this a little more clear by translating that phrase “…I shall not be in want.” When I was looking directly at that passage in either version, that’s what I thought it meant. But somehow in the day-to-day functioning of my mind, it turned into something else entirely; what the psalmist penned as a statement of hope turned into a command to deny all desire.

I found remnants of this distortion in all kinds of places. The daily question of what to have for dinner is one of the easiest to explain. Krista says, “what do you want for dinner?” My first thought is, “it doesn’t matter what I want. What do we have?” Really? I’m not allowed to have a preference? That’s ridiculous.

There are all kinds of reasons that this lie exists in my subconscious and conscious awareness. Of some, I am aware, while others still lurk in the shadows. The fact of the matter is that desire, want, is a natural consequence of being alive. Admitting to it is a necessary requirement for being authentically present. Refusing to admit it didn’t keep me from wanting steak and potatoes for dinner, though it can certainly keep me from getting them.

The hope expressed in Psalm 23 is that those desires will not forever be unsatisfied. At the very least, I can be much more authentic and present if I at least admit that I want what I want. It sounds almost childish to say that and someone in the Flawless Consulting class commented that they felt childish saying their list of “wants” out loud. Perhaps being honest about our desires, the profound ones and the trivial ones, is one of those habits of childhood that we would be better off not to abandon. And maybe if I would admit to wanting it, the table prepared in the presence of my enemies would have steak and potatoes.